he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
