I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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