is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
