oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
