he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
