Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
