Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
