i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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