i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
