there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
