he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
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No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
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the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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