it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize