You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He passed out mid-signature
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
