I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
