So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
