idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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