You made me cry and you don't even care
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
