in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
