Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize
