I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
