I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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