so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I need water and some morals
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
