Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
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