alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Sext me about skeletons
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize