Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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