Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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