Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize