Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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