Where did you get a picture of my penis
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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