i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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