i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
