Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
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my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
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In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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