Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
