I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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