Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
