True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
