I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
