I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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