Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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