Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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