I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
