Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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