is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
