Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
