I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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