come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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