I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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