You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
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the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
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He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident