If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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