thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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