I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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