Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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