Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
