cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
