they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
