Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
