um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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